Vishy's graduation Party at gateway complex

The group must have smoke some real stuff...

Mayank's Slide show

Conversations....

Monday morning...Vishy in office...

Friend: Hey vishy, how was the weekend?
Vishy: Terrible...I fell and hurt my knees bad and my ex-girlfriend called for lunch..
Friend: Uh Oh...

Vishy and another colleague are discussing something....after a while:

Colleague: Did you understand what I said...?
Vishy: No.
Colleague: Am I making sense?
Vishy: No.
Colleague: Shall I try again?
Vishy: Hell no....

Vishy and a girl are talking...

Girl: You are so weird!
Vishy: ! :-?
Girl: No, that was supposed to be a compliment !!
Vishy: I will see you later....


Vishy and Interviewer...

Interviewer: So you are a PhD?
Vishy: Yes, I still can't believe.
Interviewer: Why not?
Vishy: You have to do a PhD yourself to understand that!
Interviewer: !!
Vishy: Am I hired?
Interviewer: No...


Vishy trying to raise funds for his marathon running...

Person: So you are running?
Vishy: Yep!
Person: Why are you running...
Vishy: I don't know!
Person: I thought you were running to raise funds which will support poor kids' education in India.....
Vishy: I wasn't sure if you will believe that, anyway, now give me $100.

Vishy and Apartment manager...

Manager: How the hell this window broke?
Vishy: Yeah, I am wondering too!!

Vishy and Traffic Cop...

Cop: Sir, you were speeding...
Vishy: I was? What are the numbers?
Cop: Sir, this is a 15 mile/hr zone, you were driving at 40 mile/hr.
Vishy: But you followed me at the same speed.....if I were to slow down you would have hit my car....

Vishy gets the speeding ticket and then in defensive driving class

Instructor: 25 miles above the speed limit...in school zone!!!! Please come in front.
Vishy: You mean I am going to teach the class...?


Vishy and his friends were driving and stopped at a Mexican restaurant...

Vishy: (Looking at the colorful Mexican sweets and cookies) can I take a picture?
Girl: (She is beautiful) Mine? :)
Vishy: No! The cookies...

Vishy and Mom are trying to talk....

Mom: Are you dating these days?
Vishy: Yes.
Mom: Do you like her...
Vishy: You mean--them?


Vishy and his sister are talking...

Sis: Are you planning to marry...?
Vishy: Yes.
Sis: When is that?
Vishy: When is what?
Sis: The marriage?
Vishy: Oh, you mean the wedding?

Vishy in a cafe...

Vishy: Please give me a tea.
Girl: Which blend?
Vishy: I said TEA.
Girl: Sir, we have 20 types of tea blends, which one you want?
Vishy: Give me the one you like most.
Girl: I don't drink tea.
Vishy: Give me a coffee?
Girl: Which one?
Vishy: Can I see your manager?


Vishy and Wal-Mart helper...

Vishy: Where can I find a mouse trap...
Girl: It should be in house cleaning section.
Vishy: Thats weird, I was told that it should be in cat-food section.
Girl: Who told you that.
Vishy: My cat.


Vacuum cleaner.....

Vishy: hey, can I borrow your vacuum cleaner...
Friend: Yeah sure, but why suddenly cleaning and all?
Vishy: My computer's hard-drive crashed.
Friend's wife: I wish that happend to our computer.

Vishy and another girl are talking...

Girl: You just don't know anything about me :(
Vishy: That is why we are still seeing eachother... :)


Vishy TA office hours...

Student: I have a difficulty in Q# 4.1
Vishy: Leave it.
Student: How about my grade?
Vishy: I will give you grade for that one?
Student: What if it comes in exam?
Vishy: Don't leave it.


Student: In Q# 3.7 of HW#5, I got less mark than I deserved.
Vishy: What makes you think so?
Student: I did the integration; it just wasn't correct.
Vishy: Can you do it correctly now?
Student: No.
Vishy: Get out of here...


Student: Can I see you after office hours...
Vishy: If you are a girl, yes!


Vishy and a friend.....

Friend: Hey, can you read and review my paper?
Vishy: Sure, I would be glad.
Friend: Just don't do a lot of changes, I mean, I know there are things that could be done better, but as long as things are acceptable the way they are now. I'll leave them that way, ...what I mean by a LOT of changes is something like this: "delete this whole section, it is garbage and write a whole new section about this" or "you should rewrite this whole section", or "delete that section", its too complex ot too obvious" etc. You know what I mean?


Friend talking to Vishy on MSN chat window....

Friend: Now, I'm planning to work a little bit on the time series things, like try to understand the concepts, matlab and such. And maybe I should also study for the revenue management test. But probably I'll end up watching TV, I'm tired.
Vishy: ?


Vishy and His employer....


Employer: I didn't see you for last few days?
Vishy: I had gone to Pittsburgh for a conference?
Employer: What did you do there?
Vishy: I interviewed for new jobs.
Employer: Did you get any offers?
Vishy: Don't you see: I am back here....

Ajit and Robert

A friend sent this over....hilarious stuff !

AJIT: Robert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakarphansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi

AJIT:Robert is ko microprocessor may daal do! Bit bybit mar jaayga gaa saala!

AJIT:Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahiday gaa!

AJIT:Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do,yeh dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...

AJIT:Robert, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pane sey mar jayegaa...

AJIT: Robert, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more seyno-more ho jayegaa...

AJIT: Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna bandkar do, nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...

AJIT: "Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool testkaraao"
ROBERT: "Kyon boss?"
AJIT: "Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

AJIT: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 Vpass kar do. Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aurzindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega.

Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin rahahai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do. Pata chaljaayega chakkar kya hai.

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ?)
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
AJIT:Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Auriske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
AJIT:Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!